Who is going to win out on this tug of war?

You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on..

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their famous sketch, “Who’s on First?” might have turned out something like this:

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

(The phone rings.)
 
ABBOTT:  Super Duper Computer Store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO:  Thanks. I’m setting up an office in my den and I’m thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT:  Mac?

COSTELLO:  No, the name’s Lou.

ABBOTT:  Your computer?

COSTELLO:  I don’t own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT:  Mac?

COSTELLO:  I told you, my name’s Lou.

ABBOTT:  What about Windows?

COSTELLO:  Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT:  Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO:  I don’t know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT:  Wallpaper.

COSTELLO:  Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT:  Software for Windows?

COSTELLO:  No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT:  Office.

COSTELLO:  Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT:  I just did.

COSTELLO:  You just did what?

ABBOTT:  Recommend something.

COSTELLO:  You recommended something?

ABBOTT:  Yes.

COSTELLO:  For my office?

ABBOTT:  Yes.

COSTELLO:  OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT:  Office.

COSTELLO:  Yes, fo r my office!

ABBOTT:  I recommend Office with Windows

COSTELLO:  I already have an office with windows! OK, let’s just say I’m sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT:  Word.

COSTELLO:  What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO:  The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT:  The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO:  Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT:  The Word you get when you click the blue “W”.

COSTELLO:  I’m going to click your blue “w” if you don’t start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT:  Money.
COSTELLO:  That’s right. What do you have?

ABBOTT:  Money.

COSTELLO:  I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT:  It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO:  What’s bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT:  Money.

COSTELLO:  Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT:  Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO:  I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT:  One copy.

COSTELLO:  Isn’t it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT:  Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO:  They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT:  Why not? THEY OWN IT!

(A few days later)

ABBOTT:  Super Duper Computer Store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO:  How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT:   Click on “START”….

Chad Kroeger, lead singer for the rock band Nickelback, was sentenced to a one year driving ban and a $690.00 fine. Does this seem a little light to anybody else or is it just me?

Talk about your great hardships – the poor guy will no longer be able to drive himself around in his Lamborghini and will have to rely on a driver to chauffer him around. What about the staggering financial hardship the $690.00 will impose upon his life – give me a break?

One can’t help but wonder what an ordinary citizen might get in a similar situation; probably a little community service, loss of license and a hefty fine they more than likely couldn’t afford.

Why wasn’t Chad Kroeger given a fine that was more fitting to his income level? Why wasn’t the Nickelback front man given a penalty that included some kind of community service that would benefit those his reckless behaviour endangered, perhaps a charity concert with the proceeds going to MADD?

Sure Chad Kroeger is a role model and as such he needs to be held accountable to a higher standard not given preferential treatment by the courts. What kind of message does this send? Then again the Courts have been sending us messages for a long time but we continue to fail to listen.

The department served notice Monday it will soon invite firms to bid on a contract to cultivate and distribute medical marijuana, which is now being done in Flin Flon, Man., by Prairie Plant Systems Inc.

The winning firm will be expected to deliver a steady stream of government-approved dope to certified medical, users starting in the fall.

Health Canada posted a notice on a government tenders website saying it would put out a formal request for proposals in the spring of 2008, without specifying a date.

Ottawa has been a reluctant supplier of pot since a series of court rulings forced it into the medical marijuana business.

The marijuana program licenses certified medical users to grow their own pot, to have someone grow it for them or to buy it straight from Health Canada.

The department has paid Prairie Plant Systems more than $10 million to cultivate government-certified dope in a mine shaft in Flin Flon, Man.

The company couriers the weed directly to users in 30-gram packets.

Health Canada first awarded Prairie Plant Systems the deal in late 2000 and has been extending it in six-month increments since 2006, says company president Brent Zettl.

He added the company has yet to decide whether it will bid on the new contract, although he expects it will.

“We didn’t expect that this process would be able to continue. … These are the rules that they have to abide by,” Zettl said.

“We had anticipated internally that something would have to happen. We expected it would be something along these lines.”

The winning firm could wind up in the advantageous position of one day being the sole supplier of medical marijuana.

Health Canada has said it plans to eventually end its licensing of home-grown weed. That would force all medical users to buy their supplies directly from Ottawa, perhaps through pharmacy distribution.

Ron Marzel, a Toronto lawyer who recently brought the matter before the Federal Court on behalf of a group of medical users, says he’s concerned about any monopoly on legal production and supply of the drug.

“The government’s just had such a horrible track record in terms of supplying medication to patients,” he said.

“There are many different strains of cannabis out there and the government’s position to date has been, ‘Well, we’re growing one strain and we’ve got one supplier and that’s it. Live with it.’

“The pharmacological evidence is that different ailments require, and different symptomology require, treatment with different strains. And the government hasn’t paid heed to that at all.”

The Federal Court decision in January struck down a key restriction in the government’s pot program.

A judge’s ruling eased Ottawa’s grip on medical marijuana by allowing growers to supply the drug to more than one user. Prior to the ruling, each licensed grower could supply only one licensed user.

The federal government is appealing the decision.

I went and saw Alien V Predator Requiem last night. Yes, on Christmas day. Not the way I would have preferred spending my Christmas but hey – I made my choice and I’ll live with it. 

An interesting continuation on the Alien, Predator and Alien V Predator franchise; I won’t play spoiler here by giving away too many details but if you saw the first Alien V Predator and recall how it ended, this one picks up right where the first left off. 

For me the most interesting thing about this movie isn’t the Alien or the Predator as I have seen both of those many times in different movies. No, for me the most interesting thing about this movie is how much of it was shot outside of my office and in my neighbourhood. 

One of the central characters works at a place called Pizza One and this is a real Pizzeria called Pizza One. I eat there often as it is about 1 block from my office and they have a good pizza special; 3 slices and a can of pop for $5.00. Not too shabby. 

There is a scene where one of the Aliens explodes out of the ground and I watched them blow up the street the night they shot that scene. I recall sitting atop of this fountain that night thinking that the explosion wasn’t very big but I knew that they would be adding some effects and boy did they ever. The street they blew up for that scene is right beside my office and just outside of the European Bakery, a Port Coquitlam fixture for about as long as I can remember. 

They shot several scenes from this street and the Papa John’s Pizza is another shop right across the street from my office. Another location they shot was the “Town Center” scene and that is also right beside the Pizza One shop and a block from my office. I was at the shooting of that scene as well. I am here to say that the resulting traffic jam in that scene was added in. Having witnessed the shooting of that scene I have to say that when filming there sure is a lot of footage that winds up on the cutting room floor. 

The woods and the lake scenes, right across from my older children’s High School. There is a helicopter shot where they are flying over the woods, again, right by my kid’s school. For those of you who know me, the woods scenery is typical for this part of the world and is awesome in its beauty. When I was growing up this was typical of the types me and my friends would play. 

Lastly, when they were making this movie the production company often would use the entire parking lot behind my office for their trailers and staging areas. The office I am in has a balcony that over looked their entire operation. Very interesting how these productions can roll in and take over a small town and clear out again in less than 24 hours. Hats off to all of you who worked on this film; it was very entertaining on several levels. 

Hell’s Kitchen came to a conclusion this week and wouldn’t you know it – Rock won. No offence to Bonnie as she did a good job and rose above her lack of training but it was pretty certain that Rock was going to win when Chef Ramsay kept him over Julia.

I thought both finalists had pretty solid nights and their helpers represented themselves fairly well save for a couple of moments. Bonnie made a mistake in not properly supplying her kitchen but I don’t think this is what cost the win, her lack of proper training did. She needs to go to culinary school along with Julia and then come back for a later season to go head to head against each other as team leaders.

On the Lot it is down to the final 3 contestants. For tonight’s films Hollywood did what Hollywood does best, offer us reruns! That’s right they didn’t task the film makers with opportunities to make one last, longer film – they gave us reruns!

This show turned out to be a major dud for me. It started off bad by screwing up the programming as I could never find it on the nights it was listed. When it finally showed up on TV again, they had already culled the majority of the contestants. Now I don’t know if I can blame the shows for my last TV beef but the show always seemed to be plagued with broadcasting quality or the lack there of.

I think the thing that bugged me the most about this show was how it seemed to be open to everybody in the beginning and as the show went on it began to close out to everybody other than Americans. What is the point of allowing contestants from around the world if you are not going to let the rest of the world vote? No offence intended to my American cousins but, if the voting public is restricted to only one country then said country has a distinct advantage.

With all that said I think that Jason is going to win. He doesn’t have any film school training but I think he was solid throughout the competition. He demonstrated the most diversity in the films he created and technically I think he was pretty consistent. Good luck to all three.

If you haven’t seen any of the previous 2 Bourne movies you definitely want to watch those before seeing the Bourne Ultimatum.

Matt Damon has proven himself as an actor in many of his other movies but he takes his profession to a whole other level in the Bourne Trilogy. Myself, I haven’t read any of Robert Ludlum’s books, even in spite of a friend of mine’s work on a Robert Ludlum board game back in the 80’s, (hell I haven’t even played the damn game), but after enjoying all of the Bourne Trilogy movies I may have to start reading some of his books. One of the things I noticed in this movie, and I always notice the weird stuff, Matt Damon seems to have physically matured as he no longer looks like the kid he always seemed to. I am going to have to watch Ocean’s 13 to see if the maturation is caught in that film too.

Any way back to the movie… The Bourne Ultimatum picks up with Jason Bourne picking up where he left off in the Bourne Supremacy; failed assassination attempts sparking the survival instinct in him once again stop them. When will people learn that when professional assassins want to retire it is probably a good idea to let them?

Fantastic fight sequences with lots of good stunts, with and without vehicles. If I had one complaint, and that would have to be coaxed out of me, I think I would have liked to see a little more use of the steadicams. I understand the technique that was applied but I found I wanted to follow the action a little more closely and really appreciate the killer fight choreography.

Once this movie is released on DVD I will proudly display it right along side of the other two Bourne films and I know I will watch it many times in the future on those quite, nothing on TV kind of nights. Good on ya Matt – Good on ya!

When I first heard about this show I thought that it could be a cool thing, then when I heard that this was going to be open to contestants outside of the US as well I thought well this could be very cool.

As the show progressed it seemed to start adding restrictions to only allow American participation. Why have an open call for contestants from around the world and then restrict the voting to only allow Americans? I tried several times to vote over the course of the show only to be blocked every time.

Oh well, the producers got what they wanted in the first place… American only finalists! I got to be honest here; I am going to have to rethink my support of Dreamworks productions from here on in.

It was down to the last 3 on Hell’s Kitchen, Rock, Bonnie and Jen. When it gets this close Chef Ramsay has to check to see temperament and skill at running the kitchen. Tonight it was close as all three contestants took turns chewing out the Chef prior to service and Bonnie really stepped up here. Rock, the guy who has been a bit of a bully this season, was a little short on this test but then again, so did Jen.

The next test came during service as Chef Ramsay let all 3 run the kitchen. He was watching them to see how well they took charge of the kitchen and added a little sabotage to each of them so he could see if they spotted the errors. Jen, messed up first as she tried to send out a crab dish minus the crab. As if this wasn’t bad enough when it was Bonnies’ turn at the plate, she actually caught Jen trying to serve some bland dish. Rock caught the mistakes when he was running the kitchen but he lacked a little assertiveness.

When it came down to it only two could remain and it was Bonnie and Rock that are in the show down. I think that Jen’s undoing was the lack of assertiveness during the yelling test, her failure to spot the lack of a main ingredient before sending it out to a customer and not tasting dishes before sending them to the plate.

I really enjoy this program and have been watching it since it came out. There have been many memorable clips over the seasons but I think the one thing that will stand out in my mind for a very long time is when Rock asked his wife “Do you think they will let us have a conjugal visit?” and his wife replies “God I hope so!”

I took my 4 children to see the Simpson movie this past weekend and I have to be honest with you – I was completely under whelmed.

I am a huge Simpson fan dating back to when the characters were filler content on the Tracy Ullman show. Here is a little Simpson trivia for you – the first lines spoken by Simpson characters were…

Bart Simpson: Uh, Dad?
Homer Simpson: What?
Bart Simpson: What is the mind? Is it just a system of impulses? Or is it something tangible?
Homer Simpson: Relax. What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind!

This was typical Simpson’s fodder as the short clips were run before and after commercial breaks.

Any way, back to the movie - I can’t speak to the kinds of marketing every town was subject to but some of the spots I saw reported that it was 4 times the Homerier. At 87 minutes long it falls short of that mark by 1 minute as the running time of most, unedited for time, episodes of the Simpson’s are 22 minutes.

While there were some good laughs the movie didn’t surpass some of my favorite episodes of old. This movie left too many things out like what happened to the “Spider – Pig” or the sink hole?

About the only thing that wasn’t a let down with this night at the movies was all of the previews and commercials prior to the film starting, there were typically too many of those. My youngest son and I began eating our nachos when the previews began and were finishing the last of those off before the movie started.